


Ellie's Adventure Journal

by murcuh



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Gen, I love the dynamic between Ellie and Joel and I hope I recreated it here decently, I may continue this?, I struggled to pick a title for eighty nine years, I'm so sorry my friends, Just a nice happy fanfic I guess, Like different chapters will have different mini storylines, nothing too serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 10:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murcuh/pseuds/murcuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel finds Ellie a diary for her to write down her thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ellie's Adventure Journal

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: Do you even know how much I’m attached to this game? I love it so dearly and the only way to cope was to watch the cut scenes nine hundred times, listen to the soundtrack over and over, read fanfiction, and write my own. So here I am friends, attempting to write something decent. I wanted to try this format of writing, but then I’ll take a stab at a third person narrative. I’ll have you know, I have edited this thing constantly so I hope it can meet someone’s expectations. The title is also really misleading it's supposed to be that way. Because when you write in a diary you write about everything, not just want you expected you'd write about.
> 
> Story Notes: So Joel and Ellie made it back to Tommy’s and they’ve been living there in their own little cabin thing. It’s small though, they have to share a room but there’s a kitchen/dining area/living room shindig they’re rockin’. Joel gives Ellie a diary to write in (because heck yeah diaries I have eighty billion that I’m hoarding and keeping under my bed). AND YES I did look up the days that the journal entries are supposed to take place on. Also Ellie means “light” so wow I’m crying thanks for that Naughty Dog.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own The Last of Us or any of the characters. I promise to put them back when I’m done.

Saturday: May 20th, 2034 (6:23 p.m.) 

Joel has suggested that I start, dare I say, a _diary_. Says it’ll help me sort out my feelings and be able to deal with them if I can write them down somewhere. He mentioned the fact that since I’m a (what did he say? Voracious?) reader that I’ll probably be good at writing. Who knows? I asked him why I couldn’t just talk to him about things, but he told me if - I can’t finish that sentence. But look, almost halfway done with one page.

You know, this journal is pretty nice I guess. Joel says he found it when they went on a scouting trip. I’m really happy he thought of me. It’s got a leather cover and slight wearing on the sides of the pages but it’s still in pretty good condition.

Wow already one page! I guess I’ll be better at this diary stuff than I thought. How should I end my entry? How about just…

- _Ellie_  


Thursday: May 25th, 2034 (12:16 p.m.) 

I showed Joel my very first entry, but he told me he’s not allowed to read it. Apparently diaries are for one set of eyes only. So this is just mine and I don’t have to share it with anyone. That’s kinda cool I guess. I’m going to be keeping this in my backpack when I’m not writing in it. Better not misplace this thing… that would be embarrassing. I’m getting the hang of this - it’s nice.

I remember that stranger’s diary that I found last fall - it was filled with dumb things like boys, movies, and clothes. My diary is going to kick that diary out of the ring. I’ll write about awesome things. Just you wait! Adventure! Killing Infected!

I’m going to find Joel now; he says it’s warm enough today to teach me how to start swimming. There’s a lake not too far from here which is where I’ll be.

- _Ellie_  


Tuesday: May 30th, 2034 (6:58 p.m.) 

Wow I suck at swimming; I swallow enough water to make me a fountain. I don’t understand why I’m not getting it. I think maybe I have an unconscious worry that I’m going to drown. But Joel wouldn’t let that ever happen. He’s really patient when it comes to teaching me.

When it’s time to take a break, we eat food on the lake shore and skip smooth, flat rocks (That’s another thing he’s teaching me too).

I have so much to learn about the world. If only I could have been alive when there was no problem with the Infection. But I’m thankful for Joel; he’s my best friend. To tell you the truth, the idea of him leaving scares me. I know what a rocky beginning we had but with all that we’ve been through it really has brought us close together. He’s the only person in my life that I care about.

Wow, I don’t know what happened to this entry and why it’s so sad. I have to go to sleep before I start getting really depressed.

- _Ellie_  


Monday: June 5th, 2034 (10:38 a.m.) 

When Joel and I were walking to get some breakfast I told him that this diary is going to be called an Adventure Journal. You know what he did? He laughed! Then he goes, “Sorry, kiddo, I hope there’s no more adventures for a long time. I’m old.”

What a letdown.

But Joel’s laugh is really nice. It’s loud and booming (and kind of took me by surprise). I wanted to wrap myself in it and fall asleep. I haven’t heard him sing yet - he still won’t let me, but one of these days I’m gonna hear that singing voice of his.

You know, since being back at Tommy’s they’ve gotten along well. Joel doesn’t call him “little brother” which I think is a sign of respect.

Sometimes after supper, Tommy comes to our little cabin to visit. They talk late into the night on the porch about things they’ve never told me. Neither of them gets angry at each other.

I tried staying up one time, to listen to what they were saying. I know it’s wrong, but I was concerned, okay! They both talked really low and it lulled me to sleep because then the next thing I knew I was being carried into the room Joel and I share. He laid me on my bed and I remember he brushed my hair out of my face and whispered, “Good night, babygirl.” The next morning Joel didn’t bring it up so I didn’t mention anything either.

I wonder if they’ll tell me about the night of the outbreak, what they went through. But then again, that’s the depressing past and Joel and I are trying to have a decent future. We’re trying to be as happy as you can be in this apocalypse.  I wouldn't want to ruin what we're building now.

I hear him calling me. He’s shouting about more swimming. Bring it on!

- _Ellie_  


Monday: June 12th, 2034 (9:42 p.m.) 

I’m slowly getting better at this whole swimming thing. Sometimes when Joel is holding me afloat, he gets this faraway look in his eyes. When I say his name, he snaps out of it. But it makes me worried. Am I doing something wrong?

- _Ellie_  


Friday: June 16th, 2034 (10:56 p.m.) 

More swimming and my arms actually really hurt. It’s taking a lot of energy to hold a pencil right now. I don’t even want to write this, but Joel did say I need to write about my feelings.

Lessons were sad today.

We were in the shallow part of the lake and I was practicing floating on my back. Joel cast a shadow over me as he stood by my side, his arms under me. He said to focus on the sky and let go, promising that I wouldn’t drown. So I looked at the clouds and I was shaky at first trying to keep my balance. I glanced over at Joel and he had that distant look in his eyes again. It was silent for a while before I asked Joel why he looked so withdrawn and he didn’t say anything for a real long time. Finally he says, “I taught Sarah how to swim when she was young and I guess this is bringing me back memories from long ago. I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He tried to smile at me, but his eyes were sad. I didn’t know what to say. So I brought my feet to the lake bed, feeling the mud squish in between my toes and I turned to hug him tight.

“I’m sorry, Joel.” He hugged me back and we stayed like that for a while. I don’t know what to do for Joel. I feel awful that I constantly remind him of the daughter who’s gone. But I’m going to do all I can to be the best I possibly can for him. I’ll start by making him something. Maybe I can ask Maria or Tommy what they think he’ll like.

Joel says lights out. Good, I’m pooped.

- _Ellie_  


Monday: June 19th, 2034 (5:06 p.m.) 

Today has been long. And this entry will most likely be long too.

This morning I woke up to Joel throwing what I use as a bathing suit at me.

“Rise and shine, kiddo. I left some breakfast on the table for you. If we start early with paddling and maybe some underwater diving, you’d be a pro around supper time.” This was said with a grin.

He was already in his swimming attire (black cut offs I helped him make - which we still argue about the pant legs being even). His angry, puckered stomach wound glared at me and made me feel guilty. He was putting himself through the memories of Sarah to teach me swimming and I didn’t have anything to show for it.

“I do want to practice, but I have to ask Maria about something. Can I have like an hour?” He rubbed my head, messing up my already wild bed head and said, “One hour and then you meet me at the lake.”

He left so I scarfed down some breakfast and went to go find Maria. After looking all over the place I found her in the generator room with a couple other guys. They were looking over plans and talking about inventory. I felt dumb asking if I could talk to her a minute. But she asked her buddies to leave then motioned for me to sit on a stool next to her.

“What’s up, Ellie? Is everything okay?”

I explained the swimming lessons at the lake and how Joel sometimes gets sad about Sarah and asked her what I should do to repay him.

“Ellie, a parent losing a child is one of the worst pains you could imagine. Even though it’s been such a long time for Joel, he still cares deeply for Sarah. I’m not saying he doesn’t care about you either; you two have a bond that goes beyond words and actions. You have nothing to feel bad about your relationship with him because you both need each other and that’s what makes you two fit together. Don’t ever doubt that Joel doesn’t care about you, because he does.”

Her words made me start to tear up so she gave me a hug and rubbed my back for a while. If the world wasn’t such an awful place, she would have been a good mother.

I mentioned how I wanted to make him a gift and she suggested something small that he could keep with him all the time.

Then it hit me: a necklace!

Looking at it written down, it looks so stupid. But my idea would be finding a nice flat rock and carving something into it and making a hole for some cord to go through. Maria said something small that he could keep with him. How about something he can wear?

I thanked her for being so awesome and told her I had to go meet Joel down at the lake. I headed back to our cabin, changed into my suit, and went out to meet Joel.

I spotted him as soon as I heard the graceful splashing. He was swimming like a fish through water, his strokes were powerful and he cut the water like a knife. It was so cool. I didn’t want to interrupt him so I started looking for really nice rocks for his necklace and found a few I liked. I took off my shoes and hid them inside. Then I found a rotted log to sit on and waited.

After ten minutes of him going back and forth he noticed me and waved. I stood up and walked to the shore and cupped my hands, calling to him as he made his way over to me.

“I didn’t know you were a fish, Joel!” I heard his laughter all the way from the middle of the lake.

When he finally made it to me he shook his hair, spraying me with water.

“Did you ask Maria about your something?”

“Yes, and I bet it hasn’t even been an hour. Now I’m ready to be better than you at swimming, let’s go!”

His laugh was hearty as I ran into the water, splashing him as I went past.

We swam for most of the morning and afternoon. Then we skipped stones and headed back home to get something to eat. I did get really good at swimming. I can go without Joel holding onto me and I don’t have a fear of drowning anymore which is nice.

Right now Joel is helping Tommy with some repairs around the area: fixing creaking doors and setting traps for bandits - the usual.

I’m looking at all the rocks that I smuggled back in my shoes and I’m deciding what I should do. What could it say? ELLIE? No that’s lame. JOEL? No, he knows his name. Oh, I know exactly what I’ll do. I can work on it after dinner - hopefully Joel will fall asleep quick.

Hey, I hear him calling me now.

- _Ellie_  


Tuesday: June 17th, 2034 (1:11 a.m.) 

It’s a little past one in the morning and I am all done with Joel’s necklace. Despite some sore fingers, I’m really proud of my work. I’d tell you more about it, but I am exhausted. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.

- _Ellie_  


Still Tuesday: June 17th, 2034 (5:26 p.m.) 

Okay, hi again.

I’ll tell you about the necklace first before I tell you what happened.

The rock is a smooth, black oval shape.

On the back I carved:

“THANK YOU

LOVE, ELLIE”

And the front has this cool design I came up with that looks like waves (because of swimming lessons, get it?) I also whittled a hole near the top where I looped the cord through.

Now I’ll tell you about my day.

I woke up to Joel actually singing in the kitchen. Can you believe it? It was really nice and throaty too. I remember him saying he did want to be a singer when he was younger - if only he could have. He would have had the ladies lined up around the block.

I had stuck the necklace under my pillow the night before so I grabbed that and went into the kitchen.

“Hey, you got a nice set of wind pipes! You know, it probably isn’t too late for you to get a record deal.”

He stopped singing and whirled around wielding a spatula, “Hey now, how long have you been listenin’ to me?”

I smirked as I shrugged my shoulders. He narrowed his eyes, but in a good way, turning back to the stove.

“I wanted to give you something, Joel.”

He looked over his shoulder at me, “What is it, kiddo?”

So I walked over to him and held out the necklace. The stone shined in the artificial light and it looked beautiful. He moved the pan to the counter, shut off the burner, and took his gift. I watched him as he traced the pattern with a fingertip.

“I made this for you. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I know that I get on your nerves sometimes, but you’re a big part of my life and I wanted to show my gratitude to you. I’m really sorry about what happened in your past and that I bring up some bad memories for you. But I want you to know that I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want you to leave me because of it. I had planned this speech out better but for some reason I’m really sucking right now.” At this point Joel was looking at me and I had an overwhelming urge to start crying.

“Now what makes you think I’m going to leave you? You’re the only person I got, Ellie. I’m not leavin’ you any time soon.”

“Promise me you won’t.”

“I promise with everything in me.” Then he reached up and tied the necklace around his neck and said, “This is really beautiful, thank you, Ellie.”

I smiled hugely because I was so happy. He wrapped me in a hug, said he was proud of me, and goes, “Is this the reason you stayed up so late last night?”

Busted. I couldn’t believe he knew! I pulled back and punched his arm lightly and said, “You knew I was making this?!”

“I didn’t know what you were making, only curious to why you kept the light on until one in the mornin’.”

I didn’t have time to be embarrassed before he said, “Ellie,” he stopped for a second and reached up to rub the stone. “I want you to know - and this is difficult for me to say, but… you’re the new reason why I’m going to keep survivin’. After all we’ve been through, how could I not feel some sort of attachment to you? I always think about the night I lost Sarah; it haunts my dreams and clouds my thoughts. But you - you somehow shine through the dark memories like a light tethering me to shore. I have become focused on keeping you safe and the memories of Sarah don’t cut so deep anymore. No matter how many times it’s replayed in my head there’s nothing I can do to save her and it’s taken me a long while to figure that out. So if you had asked me at the beginning of our journey if I didn’t like you - it was only because you reminded me so much of what I’d lost. I refused myself to become attached to you in case I failed like I did with my daughter and suffered through losing you too. I’m an old man and my heart has taken a beating. So please, be careful about your life. Whether you already know it or not, I do care about you, babygirl.”

By now I’m crying silently and I can tell he is too. I see through my watery gaze that he’s wiping his cheeks. We exchanged another hug.

Can you tell it was a really emotional morning? But I’m glad it happened. We both said things that needed to be shared and it was important. After the whole sob fest, Joel suggested we try horseback riding for the day which is what we did.

Right now I’m sitting at our little kitchen table writing in you. Joel is sitting across from me putting the finishing touches on a handmade deck of cards. He randomly asked me last week if I’ve ever played and I told him I hadn’t. Here’s another thing he’s going to teach me. Now he’s saying he hopes I don’t get too good, it would be embarrassing for him.

I think that’s all for me right now. Joel says it's so funny to watch me scribbling away in you. Hopes I didn't replace him with a silly diary. I told him he has nothing to worry about.

I’ll write in you soon.

- _Ellie_  



End file.
